Not for Certain

Tomorrow night I am going to see Star Wars in Concert. I am so excited, not so much for the props they will be exhibiting or for the awesome light show and clips of the movies, but for the music. A symphony will be playing scores from all six of the movies, all written by John Williams. He is a phenomenal composer, and his scores simply sweep you up and take you somewhere else entirely.

When I listen to scores or any instrumental music I can pick out every harmony and every individual instrument. In fact I recognize almost every instrument and am able to name nearly every instrument I pick out. My mom keeps telling me I should be a composer. To be honest I do not believe I should be. I am a music lover, yes, but would I truly be able to compose entire pieces like John Williams, or my personal favorite Hans Zimmer (think ‘Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron’ and Pirates of the Caribbean) can? I don’t think so.

That’s another problem I am faced with: I have no clue what I want to do with my life. Not for certain anyway. I would love to write, but I am not sure if I really have the commitment for that. I might, but I’m too busy with school and homework to even have time to consider writing anymore. It’s rather painful knowing that I want to write but don’t have the time to do so.

I am also considering something in the field of biology. I considered microbiology for a while, but I don’t want to get into medicine. I also considered marine biology, but my fear of deep water is potentially problematic… I am at such a loss. Everything I come up with, there is something about it that just throws up a road block and my mind starts screaming “you won’t be able to handle this” while my heart starts shouting “but you would love it!” I suppose I’ll just have to keep reaching out and exploring until I find what I really truly want to do.

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~ by Rckrgrl on January 15, 2010.

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